Insta-gram #8: Wonder Women

We assembled at the fountain before the race. Each of us sporting our own version of patriotism.

We donned our Wonder Women bracelets and posed for photos. Today, we dedicated our race to a friend dying from cancer.

Hardly seems fair.

There would have been tears, but we didn't want them there. We were strong, we were mighty. We can cry later. Now, now we have a race to run.

This afternoon. Sitting on my bed, I look out the window just in time to see the fawns my neighbor mentioned the other night.

Part of me is fighting this. Fear.

Who is afraid of wonder?

Insta-gram#7: Time Machine

Time has been on my mind a lot lately. Mostly, the past.

There are days where I feel like I'm in a Time Machine. This past weekend I found myself transported back to the summer of 1990.

Needless to say, it was a bumpy ride, and I'm still experiencing jet lag.

Speaking of time, I haven't posted anything here in almost three years.

Since that last post in 2014, I moved to Virginia and now work at Georgetown University. Georgetown is a Jesuit University, whose mission is steeped in Jesuit Values.

I have been thinking about Ignation Examens, a daily reflection that looks at the events of the day in order to detect God's presence in one's life (read more about Examens on the Ignation Spirituality website), and whether or not one is following that presence or their own will.

I read a post, Finding God on the Metro by William Blazek, SJ. It reminded me of this blog, specifically my Insta-gram posts, as well as a series of "things" I wrote, which eventually became known as my Subway Sketches.

I call them "things" because they aren't poetry, although some are poetic, and when I wrote them I knew nothing about Examens and would never have considered calling them reflections. But, as I think about them now, I realize they were moments where I noticed God's presence. Although, I prefer to think of it as the universe talking to me.

For me, those moments of noticing are about re-vitalizing my sense of wonder at the world. Without this exercise, I become closed to what is wonder-ful about my life, and then cynicism creeps back and gratitude disappears. It becomes a never-ending cycle of negativity and depression and this, this is when I find myself in my Time Machine.

So, I've decided to start my Insta-grams again, and bring wonder back into my life. I am going to follow the five-step Daily Examen that St. Ignatius practiced:

1. Become aware of God’s presence.
2. Review the day with gratitude. 
3. Pay attention to your emotions.
4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it.
5. Look toward tomorrow.

Insta-gram #6: walk on by

Walking back from the market with a bag of vegetables, my mind lost.
A woman, dressed in a straw hat and blue sundress is walking toward me.
She is looking at me.
I ask myself if I recognize her. No, no I don't.
As she approaches she wears a wry smile.
We pass each other by. I feel her pause.
"Ma'am!" I hear from behind.
"Ma'am!" I realize she is calling me.
I turn.
She waves me closer.
Wearing the same smile, she whispers
"Your button is undone."

Insta-gram #5: hello, spring here

A young couple sitting on a stoop,
a small child in a stroller parked in front of them.

Music warbling from an iPhone.
Sipping a Labatt Blue tall boy.

A woman walks by eating apple slices from a plastic bag.
Followed by a hoodied stranger.

Cigarette dangling from his lips
and a ferret squirming in his grip.

Insta-gram #4: morning wake-up

Walked out of my apartment building into the Arctic sunshine;

greeted by a waft of marijuana.

Someone is coping with this frigid morning.

A woman, alone, shouting, walks down the street.

She's talking on her cellphone.

Insta-gram #3: Philosopher's Walk

A bright, frigid Toronto morning. 

Blue sky

Passersby walking dogs,

enveloped in breathe clouds with every exhale.

The grass dusted with snow

a young man wheels his cello to rehearsal.

Walking in Virginia: the sound of leaves

"Shhhh," say the leaves as the wind hurries them across the street.

"Someone is coming."